Having His Baby
by Queen of the Ramen
Summary: They'd been so careful, hadn't they? Oops, guess not. CoxJD M-PREG
1. My Revelation

They were all alone in the on-call room. Dr. Cox was still reeling from what JD had blurted out. It was only supposed to be a casual relationship, this wasn't supposed to happen, they'd been so careful. He couldn't handle this, not after what had happened with Jack.

"How did this happen?" he demanded.

"You should know Perry, this is your responsibility too. I didn't get this way on my own, you know." JD's voice was steely.

Dr. Cox clasped his hands behind his head. "I know that. I'm just not sure if I'm... ready. Or even able."

"Well, you'd better get sure, but I can't raise this baby on my own and I'm damn sure not giving him up." His gaze never once wavered at he stared into the other man's eyes.

"I'd never ask you to do that, JD." Clenched his hands tighter, until they started to hurt.

"What are we going to do?" JD murmured. Dr. Cox could see the what were the beginning of tears in his eyes.

"We'll raise our baby," he replied. Dr. Cox lowered his hands from behind his head and grasped the other man's hands in his, placing their interlaced fingers on the small bump that was JD's belly and which would one day be their baby. "I'll do my best." He was practically whispering. "I promise."

JD tightened his grasp on the other man's fingers. "You can do it. I know you can."

He squeezed back. "Now don't get all misty eyed on me Clarabelle." He gave a rakish grin which was quite a bit shakier than normal. "Have you told your other half yet?"

"No, not yet." JD shook his head. "He just thinks I'm getting fat from all the late night ice cream eating." He released his grip on Dr. Cox's hands and rubbed the bump. "I'm sure he'll be fine with it though, right?"

--

Even though it was one in the morning Dr. Cox wasn't asleep, hadn't come close to sleeping, not after the bomb JD had dropped on him earlier that day. He was going to be a father, again. Maybe he could actually be a father to this one. He hadn't seen Jack since Jordan ran off with him one day after a particular nasty fight, leaving him a note that gave no clue to their whereabouts and no hint that he would ever seen them again. He had frantically searched for them, called expensive private investigators to help hunt for them, but they never had any luck. The case had gone cold. It had been one year since he'd seen his little boy. He still thought about him every day. He hadn't told anybody else about what Jordan had done, didn't want anyone else to know. He told them that they'd broken up and Jordan and Jack were staying with her parents. It was easier that way. There was a knocking at his front door. He peered through the peephole. It was JD.

He opened the door, letting JD inside. "What are you doing out so late?" He closed the door behind him. He noticed JD was still in his scrubs.

"I couldn't go home." JD gave an awkward grin. "I couldn't figure out how to tell him and it doesn't feel right being there without him knowing. I feel like I'm lying to him. So I told him I hooked up with a girl and was staying at her place tonight. I've been riding my scooter around all night."

"Now Jessica, I so do hope you get the irony of covering up your guilt of feeling like a liar by actually being a liar, yes?" Dr. Cox steered JD to the couch and gently pushed him down onto it.

"Yeah, I know, but I just couldn't..." JD sighed. "How am I supposed to tell him? He's my best friend and I didn't even tell him about us hooking up."

"Well, yes, but then again I threatened to break every one of your bones if you did." Dr. Cox sat down beside him. He put an arm around the other man's shoulder. JD rested his head against it. "And where were you planning on sleeping tonight?"

"I was gonna get a hotel room for the night, maybe watch some Skinemax." JD's eyelids started to droop and he gave out a large yawn.

Dr. Cox shook his head. "Not in this condition you're not." He placed his other hand on JD's belly. "I'm not going to let you ride around on that overgrown hair dryer, half-asleep, carrying this around. You're sleeping here tonight."

JD's eyebrows shot up. "Really? Thanks, I just need a pillow and blanket and I can sleep on the couch."

"No way." Dr. Cox untangled his arms from around the younger man and stood up. "You're sleeping in the bed."

"I can't kick you out of bed in your own house, Dr. Cox," JD started to complain.

"Who said anything about that?" he smirked. JD blushed. Even though they'd had sex many times, they'd never actually slept in the same bad together, or even stayed it in longer than the sex did (not that the sex always occurred in bed). "You can wear one of my shirts to bed." He held out his hands to help JD up off the couch. Once JD was up, though, he didn't let go of them. Dr. Cox led him to the bedroom, only letting goes of his hands long enough to turn off the living room lights, and even then he only relinquished one of them. They stopped before the wardrobe and Dr. Cox picked out a long gray t-shirt for JD to wear. He didn't have to change because he was already in his pajamas.

JD started to strip. "What, are you going to watch?" he asked. There was another slight blush.

"It's not like I've never seen you naked before, newbie," Dr. Cox smirked.

JD quickly finished stripping and quickly pulled the t-shirt on. He looked at the bed, confused as to which side he should choose.

"Left side, Debra," Dr. Cox said with a smirk, turning off the light.


	2. Things Not To Do At Work Part 1

JD awoke to a muscular chest pressed against his back and a pair of strong arms wrapped around him. He smiled and burrowed deeper into the embrace. Dr. Cox smiled and pulled the younger man closer, his hands protectively cupping the stomach that held their future together.

"Good morning, Dr. Cox." JD yawned and stretched, then rolled over to face the older man.

"Y'know, I'm pretty sure you can call me Perry, with you carrying my baby and all." Dr. Cox gently brushed an unruly strand of hair out of JD's face.

JD gave a small smile, just the hint of a blush on his cheeks. "Well, then good morning, Perry." As soon as the sentence was out of his mouth Dr. Cox's lips were on top of his. The kiss was warm and gentle and wonderful. When their mouths parted JD was out of breath and Dr. Cox looked like the cat who ate the canary.

"Wow."

"You're damn right 'wow', newbie." Dr. Cox gave him a cocky grin and rolled out of bed. "You get dressed and I'll make breakfast." He headed to the kitchen, unconsciously whistling a little tune.

JD stretched before getting out of bed and picked up his scrubs from where he had left them last night. Work was definitely going to be interesting.

--

"Hmm, letting yourself go, Bambi?" Carla poked at the small bulge of JD's stomach. JD protectively covered it with both his hands.

"I'm not fat, I'm just big boned." he said defensively.

"He's obviously doing something right, because my man JD here didn't come home last night!" Turk high-five'd him. JD felt a bit guilty, but shook it off. "Who was the lucky lady?"

"You should know Turk, it was your Mom." Carla laughed and JD high-five'd her.

Turk shook his head. "Un-cool man, un-cool."

Elliot leaned placed her elbows on the counter and placed her head in her hands. "So, what lucky lady got to enjoy seven minutes in heaven, including the time it took to eat the pizza?"

"A gentleman does not kiss and tell," JD said, tipping an imaginary top hat. "And those seven minutes would rock - your - world."

A shrill whistle pierced the air. Dr. Cox marched up to them, a look of menace in his eyes. "Oh gee, look what we have here. Is it that time of the year again?" He pulled out an imaginary order form and began pretending to write on it. "I'll have a box of mint thins, one of those peanut butter cookies, and oh, I don't know, a whole case of the samoas."

Elliot looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Seeing as all you girls are standing around doing nothing I just assumed this was some sort of girl scout jamboree and you were trying to sell cookies." He pointed at JD and crooked his finger. "How about you try doing something productive for once, Fiona? Follow me." He stomped off down the hall and JD followed after him.

Carla sighed. "I swear, if JD were any more of a puppy he'd be humping Dr. Cox's leg."

Both Elliot and Turk grimaced. "Bad mental image, honey!" Turk shrieked.

--

"Where are we going?" JD asked. Dr. Cox continued down the hall, not bothering to look back at him.

"You'll see." They stopped in front of a supply closet. Dr. Cox furtively looked both ways before flinging the door open and dragging JD inside with him, quickly closing the door behind them. Dr. Cox turned to face him and JD gulped. They contemplated each other for a long minute before all pretenses were dropped and they were all over each other. It wasn't long before clothing, scrubs, underwear and stethoscopes began flying through the air.

--

Todd stood in front of the supply closet door, holding a cup to the door and pressing his ear against the cup.

"Man, what are you doing?" Turk asked.

"Somebody's getting it on in there." Todd whispered. "Getting it on at work high-five!" He attempted to high-five Turk, almost dropping the glass in the process. "Maybe later, then."

"That's gross, dude." Turk started to walk away.

"Oh man, I think one of them's JD," Todd whispered.

"There's no way JD would do that." Turk walked over to Todd. "Why would you say that?"

"Because I just heard someone say 'Bombs away!'," Todd gave a thumbs up, which led to another almost accident with the glass.

"Woah-hoh!" Turk grinned. "Let's give them a little surprise, shall we?" He gestured for The Todd to back away from the door, which he did. Flinging the door open he yelled, "Aha!"

"Turk?!"

"JD! DR. COX?!"

"Ghandi."


	3. Things Not To Do At Work Part 2

Turk quickly closed the door. The two threw on their clothes as swiftly as they could while JD cursed under his breath the entire time. When they finished Dr. Cox put his hand on JD's shoulder.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," he said. Gently grabbing JD's chin, he lifted his head up and looked into his eyes. "It will." He brushed the distressed man's cheek with his fingertips. JD nodded and opened the door. Turk was gone, but The Todd was still there, a large grin on his face.

Dr. Cox grabbed him by the front of his scrubs. "If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I swear to God..."

JD grabbed his arm. "Perry."

He let go. Todd put his hands up. "It's cool, guys. I understand." There was a twinkle in his eyes. "So, which one of you..."

"Go, Todd," JD said, before Dr. Cox get his hands on him again. Todd quickly walked away.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Dr. Cox asked. JD could see the concern in his eyes.

"Nah, I'll be fine." He grabbed the other man's hand and gave it a quick squeeze before walking away.

--

"Baby, you can not even guess what I saw at work today." Turk leaned back on the couch, feet up on the coffee table.

"If this is another story about what you found in some guy's butt during surgery, then you can feel free to skip it, just this once." Carla rolled her eyes and knocked his feet down from their perch.

"I saw Dr. Cox and JD going at it like rabid weasels in the supply closet." Turk folded his arms across his chest. "I think it's permanently seared onto my retinas."

Carla held her hand up to his forehead. "Have you been sneaking cookies again? I think you're starting to see things."

Turk pulled her hand away. "No! And I'm serious about this."

Carla sat down next to her husband. "Hmmmm..."

He stared at her. "Hmmmm? That's all you've got to say?" There was a note of trepidation in his voice.

Carla lightly slapped the side of his head. "Turk, calm down. Is it really that big a surprise?" No answer. "You know the way he looks up to him and follows him everywhere. The only surprise is that it hasn't happened long before now."

Turk frowned, but relaxed slightly, uncrossing his arms.

"So, what did you say to him?"

"Ummm... errr..." Turk nervously scratched his head. "You see..."

"Spit it out, Turk."

"I kind of ran away." He ducked his head.

"Turk!" Carla stood up, faced him. "Can you imagine how JD feels right now? He probably thinks you hate him. We've got to do something."

"What?"

--

JD stood in front of the apartment door, too nervous to go in yet. He knew Turk and Carla were in there and there was no way Turk hadn't already told Carla about what he'd seen. He wondered how they'd react, whether or not they'd be so disgusted they'd kick him out, how he could possibly tell them about the baby. He thought about turning around and crashing at Dr. Cox's place for the night, but decided against it, since that would just lead to an even more awkward shift at work tomorrow. He placed his hand on the doorknob, steeling himself for what was to come.

"Surprise!" Turk, Carla and Elliot popped up from behind the couch, bright red party hats with pom-poms on their heads.

"Guys?" JD stood in the doorway, looking dazed and confused.

Elliot took him by the hand and led him into the room, closing the door behind him. She helped take his backpack off and set it down next to Rowdy, whose party hat was set at a rakish angle. He was led over to the kitchen counter where a cake shaped like a pink triangle was sitting, the words "You're Here, You're Queer, We're Used To It" were written out in purple frosting.

Carla smiled and put her arm around his shoulder. "It's okay Bambi, we know." She nodded at Turk, who was too busy eyeing the cake to pay attention. "And we support you 100 percent."

Elliot placed a party hat on his head, securing the elastic strap under his chin. "If I had known earlier, I would have set you up with Barry."

Turk finally looked up from the cake. "It's cool, man." He smiled at JD.

Tears welled up at the corner of his eyes. "Guys... I don't know what to say." He was gathered into a large group hug, which lasted for quite a while.

"So, you and Dr. Cox huh? What's that like?" Carla asked, grinning.

"Carla!" Turk screeched. "No details, please!"

JD gathered his nerve. "There's something I need to tell all of you."

"I don't know if I can take any more surprises today," Turk said.

"I'm pregnant."

Turk fainted.


	4. The More You Know

When Turk woke up he was lying on the floor, his face drenched. Carla stood in front of him with an empty glass in her hand. JD and Elliot stood next to her, looking worried.

"Are you okay, chocolate bear?" JD asked. He held out a hand and helped Turk up from the floor.

Turk rubbed his head and grinned at JD. "Oh man, I just had the weirdest dream. I dreamed that you said you're pregnant." He laughed at that.

JD laughed nervously. "Umm... I am pregnant." Turk began to look woozy again and Carla grabbed his arm.

"Oh no, we're not going through that again." She led him to an armchair and he sank into it with an audible thud.

JD walked over to him and put his hand on the other man's shoulder. "If you need time to think this over, I can leave until you're ready."

Turk grabbed JD's hand an gave it a light squeeze before letting it go. "No way. There's no way I'm going to let my pregnant best friend wander around the city at this time of night." He gave a firm nod and winced, having apparently forgotten about the spill he had taken only moments before.

"So, you're okay with it?" JD wrung his hands a bit, but managed to stay calm.

"I'll admit it's more than a little bit odd..." Turk said. Carla gave him a warning look. "But you know I'd support you no matter what, vanilla bear."

"Us too." Carla and Elliot said in unison. They looked at each other and laughed. Pretty soon Turk and JD were laughing with them.

"So, how far along are you?" Carla asked.

"I'm not really sure." JD scratched his head. "I think about three months."

"You're not really sure?" Carla looked incredulous. "You're a doctor and you haven't seen an obstetrician yet?"

"I guess with all the secret keeping and what not I'd forgotten all about it." JD blushed.

Carla picked up her cell phone. "I'm calling Dr. Matthews and making you an appointment for _tomorrow,_ Bambi."

"Would you like us to go with you?" Elliot asked.

"That's sweet, but I think it had better be just Perry and I for the first visit." JD smiled.

"Perry?" Turk asked.

"Yes, he only lets me call him Dr. Cox in bed now." JD deadpanned. Turk just gave out a strangled yelp as Elliot and Carla laughed.

AN: Sorry this chapter took so long! And sorry it's so short! I promise the next one will be much longer and won't take nearly as long. Hope you're enjoying it.


	5. Seeing Is Believing

"Hurry up Sheila, just pick a dress so we can get going already." Dr. Cox tapped his watched and sighed impatiently.

JD stood in front of his closet, rifling through it, like he had been for the last ten minutes. "I know, I just want to wear the perfect outfit for our first o.b. visit." He began inspecting another shirt before discarding it and beginning the search all over again.

Dr. Cox rolled his eyes. "Does it really matter? You're just gonna end up spread-eagle with your shirt up to your tits and your stomach covered with goo."

JD turned around and batted his eyes at the other man. "But Perry, I thought that's what you liked." he cooed.

Dr. Cox grinned and snorted. Reaching over JD's shoulder, he picked up a gray cashmere sweater and held it up to his chest. "Here, wear this. It looks nice with your eyes."

JD grabbed the sweater and blushed.

----

They sat waiting together in the obstetrician's office for Dr. Williams to arrive. JD sat on the examination table and Dr. Cox sat next to him in a plastic chair, their hands intertwined.

JD wiggled around, making the tissue paper crinkle. "I've gotta peeeeeeee." he whined.

"Your bladder needs to be full so they can see the fetus better." Dr. Cox said. "You know that."

"Yeah, but." JD wiggled around once more. "I gotta peeeeeeeeeee..."

"Dear God newbie, if you don't stop whining, I'm going to - " His thought was left unfinished as Dr. Williams entered the room, chart in hand and a smile on his face.

"Hello, Mr. Dorian."

"Please, call me JD." he said, shaking Dr. Wiliams' hand.

The OB turned to Dr. Cox. "And this would be?"

Dr. Cox gruffly shook the other doctor's hand. "_Doctor_ Cox. I'm the child's father."

"Wonderful." He consulted the chart in front of him. "I see you're here for an ultrasound and we're not sure about the date of conception? No problem, this should be able to help clear things up."

Dr. Williams wheeled the sonograph over to the table as Dr. Cox helped JD get into a lying position. Dr. Williams adjusted the table so JD could better see the monitor.

"This is going to be a bit cold." he warned the pregnant man. Lifting up his shirt he squeezed a gel onto JD's belly. JD gave a little squeal and shivered. Dr. Cox squeezed his hand.

Flipping the machine on, Dr. Williams began running the probe over JD's bump. Gradually, an image formed on the screen. "There's your baby."

JD and Dr. Cox stared at the screen in wonder.

"Everything looks good. Fetal heartbeat is strong. And judging by the length and development, I'd say you're about 12 weeks along."

The couple watched their baby on the monitor, still too dumbstruck to say anything.

"Our baby..." JD managed to whisper. Dr. Cox smiled down at him. He looks at the OB. "Can you... can you tell what sex it is yet?"

"It's still a bit too early for that." Dr. Williams said. "Make another appointment in around six weeks and we'll definitely be able to tell by then." He pressed a few buttons on the machine before turning it off. He handed JD a paper towel to wipe off the gel. "We just draw some blood to do a couple of routine tests and you'll be all set."

"That's great." JD said, wincing as he raised himself up off the table. "But is it alright if I pee first?"

----

Dr. Williams gave the two a bundle of pamphlets about pregnancy and a card with his home phone number.

"If you have any questions or worries, feel free to call my any time, day or night." They thanked him and started to leave. "Oh, I almost forgot, there's one more thing." He pulled a slip of paper out of the pocket in his lab coat and handed it to them. It was a prinout from the sonogram, a picture of their unborn baby. They left the clinic holding hands, the picture clutched lovingly to JD's chest.


	6. Phantasmagoria

Dr. Cox stood in a white room. He had to shade his eyes from the glare emanating from the walls and ceiling. Even his white doctor's coat took on an eerie luminous sheen. There were no visible lighting fixtures, no windows and no door. The only object in the room other than himself was a minute tapered hexagonal item, it's stain so dark that the floor and atmosphere around it seemed murky. It took him a second to realize it was a coffin.

He approached it slowly, unsure of whether or not he should open it, whether he should look inside and face his fears. He crouched down so he could lift the lid off the coffin, an awkward process. He forced himself to look inside.

Laying in it's white silk interior was his son, Jack, looking the same as when he'd last seen him. His ash brown hair was neatly combed, his shaggy bangs framing ice blue eyes, made even colder by death. Tears welled up in Cox's eyes and he sobbed. He reached down to touch his son, to grab his pale, still hand when he heard a voice behind him.

"It's your fault that he's dead." Jordan said calmly. Somehow her disposition seemed to be icier than he'd ever remembered, not that she'd even been anything but hostile to him and their son. She was wearing a black mourning dress and veil, with full length gloves. Her veil was pulled back and he could see the scorn in her eyes.

Cox looked down at his son and then back at her. "You... you took him from me." He quickly rose from his kneeling position and turned to face her. "You took him from me and you ..." He couldn't continue. His body practically trembled with rage.

"You were a horrible father." She flipped down her veil and started walking towards him. "He's much better off dead than with you." Continuing past him, she stopped at the coffin. Jordan knelt down and started lifting the toddler's remains from the casket. Cox grabbed wildly at her to stop her, to stop her from taking his little boy away from him again, but his hand went through her as if she were as insubstantial as air. She arose, the toddler carelessly slung in her arms as if he were a bag of refuse, her expression unreadable beneath the onyx veil. "You made me do it." were her parting words and Jordan, Jack and the coffin all vanished.

Dr. Cox sat on the ground and wept for what seemed like hours. When he was able to collect himself there was another ghastly surprise awaiting him. The space the previous coffin occupied was filled once again, this time with an even smaller casket. Once again he felt he knew what horrors would await him if he were to open it and a fierce internal struggle ensued over whether or not he should open it. In the end he decided to, if only that this tormenting nightmare would be over with.

Once again he knelt down on the ground and once he again he lifted the lid, only this time it was much easier and lighter. Although he had only seen him in a sonogram, Cox immediately recognized his and J.D's baby. It looked as if it were a few days old, with a small thatch of reddish hair on the crown of it's head and green eyes. He steeled himself for what would come next.

"Neither of us made it." Cox tried not to look behind him, knew that nothing good could come from seeing whatever horrific vision had appeared, but he couldn't help himself. He gagged, a hand flying to cover his mouth. J.D. stood there in a blue hospital gown that was liberally smeared with blood and gore. His eyes were hard and his mouth was a gash in his waxen face. "I died in labor, with nobody at my side. Our child died a few days later, from complications. You never even went to see it."

"I would never abandon you, or our baby, like that." Cox said, more to himself than to the other man.

An uncharacteristic sneer appeared on J.D.'s face. "You were a horrible parent even before our child was born. Like father, like son."

Cox grimaced at the unfair comparison to his abusive father. He managed to swallow his pain to ask J.D. a question. "Was it a boy or a girl?"

His only answer was a coarse laugh before he awoke, tears coursing down his cheeks, his body soaked in sweat. J.D. was sitting up in bed next to him, frowning worriedly at him. "Are you okay?"

Dr. Cox could only reply with a headshake before he buried his face in the other man's shoulder and clung to him.


	7. Contact

Dr. Cox tried to push away all thought of the nightmares that had been plaguing him of late, to focus on what should be a pleasant experience, shopping for baby paraphernalia with J.D. Somehow the young man had convinced him that Turk, Carla and Elliot should be allowed to tag along on the trip. He smiled to himself as J.D. lay a powder blue onesie on his bump, which now looked like he was smuggling half a basketball under his shirt.

Elliot held up an obnoxiously bright pink baby dress, complete with ratty white lacing on the sleeves and collar. "Awww, this would be sooo cute." she cooed.

Dr. Cox grabbed the offending apparel from her hand and threw it halfway across the clothing section, causing an extremely pregnant woman to duck and glare at him. "That is NOT going to happen."

J.D. chuckled. "We should probably stick to gender neutral colors for now, we don't even know what sex the baby is yet."

Dr. Cox managed not to shudder, remembering the dream.

"Are you going to find out or will it be a surprise?" Carla asked. She inspected a bib that read "I Have Two Daddies", before throwing it in their cart.

"I'm not sure, we haven't talked about it." J.D. mused. "What do you think?"

Dr. Cox's mind was adrift. J.D. shook his arm and he snapped to. "Hmmmm?"

"You were a thousand miles away." J.D. pouted. "Are you for or against finding out the baby's gender?"

He thought about it for a minute. "I'm for, but I'll leave the decision up to you."

J.D. smiled. "Well, I'm all for it, too. I think we'll be able to find out at our next visit to Dr. Williams."

Turk stopped finger-walking a pair of tiny baby shoes around a shelf after Carla glared at him. "Are you hoping for anything in particular?"

Elliot was looking at yet more blinding dresses when she said "I bet Jack wouldn't mind having a baby sister."

J.D. and Dr. Cox froze. J.D. had found out all about Jordan and Jack after Dr. Cox first had what they called The Nightmare. He had agreed not tell any of his friends, not even Turk, but it was hard. When he was alone he cried for his partner and how terribly he must be hurting inside.

Elliot frowned. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, of course not." J.D. bluffed. Dr. Cox's face was still ashen. "I'd love to have either, all the matters is the baby is healthy."

Carla, sensing that something was wrong, distracted them by holding up a pair of breast pumps. "Are you going to breast feed?"

"Baby, no!" Turk was aghast.

J.D. managed a smirk. "As a matter of fact, yes, I am." He took the pumps from Carla and placed them in the cart.

"I. CAN'T. GET. IT. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD." Turk shouted, shaking his head.

"Oh come on, you've seen me breast feed Izzie." Carla said, placing her hand on his shoulder.

Turk looked aghast. "That's not even close to being the same thing, baby."

Dr. Cox's phone rang. "Excuse me." He walked to the next aisle to answer it. "Hello?"

"Daddy?"


	8. Promises

Dr. Cox couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The phone felt hot in his hand, burned like a supernova. When he tried to speak he choked on his words.

"Daddy? Are you there?"

He managed to swallow the lump in his throat.

"I'm here, Jackie."

"Daddy! I miss you, Daddy."

His hand spasmed around the phone and he just avoided dropping it. "I miss you too, son. Where... where are you? Where's your mother?"

"Mommy's sleepin' on the couch. She had too much too drink. I'm in the closet, 'cept Mommy calls it my playroom. I found her phone on the floor and saw Daddy's name in it."

"How's she treating you? How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, 'cept..."

"Except?"

"Mommy said I'm not 'posed to tell no-one."

"It's alright if you tell me, I'm your Daddy." He had to fight hard to get those words out and could barely keep the phone up to his ear due to his trembling arms.

"Mmm... 'kay." A pause. "Sometimes I'm bad and Mommy has to punish me. She says it's to make me a good boy." A long pause. "I don't wanna be a bad boy, Daddy, but it hurts."

Tears streamed down Dr. Cox's face. The only thing that had kept him sane during his son's disappearance was the knowledge that he was with his mother, a cold woman, certainly, but a woman who supposedly loved her son. He'd never imagined that she'd be capable of physically harming him.

"I'm so sorry, Jackie."

"When can I go home? I wanna go home!"

"I know you do, and I want you home too. I'm trying. Do you know where you are, your address?"

Dr. Cox could hear his son sniffling. "Mommy taught me our address 'cuz I'm in kindergarten now." He sounded proud of his accomplishment. He recited the address, some place in Nevada he'd never heard of, called Pahrump.

"I'm going to come and get you, son. I promise you, I'm going to bring you home."

"You promise?"

"I promise. But Jackie, you gotta promise me something, too. You can't tell your mother that you talked to me."

"Why not?"

Dr. Cox bit his lip. "So it can be a surprise, 'k?" He didn't like lying to him, but he knew it was for the best, if Jordan ever found out about their conversation she'd move Jack away and he'd probably never get a chance to find his son ever again.

"Okay, I promise." Another pause. "Mommy's waking up, and she won't be happy if I'm using her phone. I gotta go."

"I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Daddy."

Click.

And then there was silence.


	9. For Those Left Behind

_Beta'd by The Seventh L.  
_

They were back at the apartment. Dr. Cox had somehow gotten through the shopping trip without breaking down, and now that he was back at home and alone with his pregnant lover he felt calmer, or at least less crazed. He hadn't told JD about the phone call;he knew that he'd insist on calling the police. He'd trusted the police once and look where that had gotten him . . . No, he'd have to do this on his own. And JD . . . JD would just have to forgive him.

JD sat on the couch while going through their new purchases. He held the tiny baby clothes and gently touched the soft cotton feety pajamas and the fleece towel with a hoody which would keep their baby warm after his or her bath. JD nodded off with the clothes spread around him and Dr. Cox carefully picked him up and tucked him into bed.

JD slept and JD dreamt.

He was in a park, under the shade of a large oak tree, sitting on top of a red checkered tablecloth. It was a beautiful day and he could hear birds chirping. He looked down and noticed that he was no longer pregnant --- but didn't worry, for in front of him a little girl was playing, and he knew it was his daughter. She had golden blonde hair in ringleted pigtails, bright blue eyes and was wearing a sky blue dress. She looked to be around five years old.

An arm wrapped around his waist and he leaned back into Perry's loving arms. He immediately sensed they were married, even before seeing the matching gold bands that adorned both their ring fingers. They sat together like this and watched their daughter frolic around the picnic site, trying to catch the small white butterflies which flitted around.

"Dadda?" Her voice was musical and JD knew she was addressing him.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Where's my brother?"

JD laughed. "Brother? You don't have a brother, Alice."

Alice pouted. She turned to her other father. "Daddy, where's Jack?"

Dr. Cox laughed. "Is Jack an invisible friend of yours?" He ruffled her hair.

She giggled. "Don't be silly, Daddy."

JD turned to his husband. "Maybe it's the name of one of her playmates." He turned back to his daughter. "Is that it?"

Alice shook her head, which sent her pigtails flapping as if she were getting ready for take off. She started to pout. "Where's Jack?" Now she was stamping her foot. "Where. Is. My. Brother?"

A fog seemed to enshroud JD's brain. Jack? Jack . . . It seemed like he should know that name. A creeping dread began to overcome him. Why couldn't he remember? He strained to put a face to the name. His chest tightened. Think! He didn't know why the name Jack was producing such an effect on him, but it felt like his chest was going to burst, like he couldn't breathe.

He turned to his husband for support but he was gone. Panicked, he turned back towards his daughter, but she too was gone. He was overtaken by terror as one by one the tablecloth, the tree, and the park all disappeared. And all that was left was JD and a tiny coffin.

And he remembered.

JD woke up covered in sweat and shaking. Turning towards his husband for comfort he found only a note on his pillow. Turning on his bedside lamp, he read:

_"Dear JD,_

_I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but it's the only way. I found out where Jordan has taken Jack and I've gone to take him back. I wish I could have told you and I hope you'll be able to understand why I couldn't. Maybe someday you will forgive me. I need to make our family whole._

_I love you and I love our baby,_

_Perry"_

JD clutched the note to his chest and tried not to weep.


	10. Almost

_Beta'd by The Seventh L._

Dr. Cox raced his Porsche through the Nevada desert towards Pahrump and his son that he hadn't seen for over a year. He thought of his shaggy brown hair and the way he it hung in front of his sweet blue eyes. The grin he'd always get when he'd just done something naughty. His first laugh, his first steps, the first time he'd called him Daddy. He wondered if Jordan had thrown him a party for his fifth birthday and whether or not he had entered kindergarten yet. If she'd taught him how to read or took him to the park.

His jaw clenched when he thought of all the things Jack had told him over the phone. His mistreatment --- no his _abuse_, at the hands of his own mother. After suffering the same horrors from his alcoholic father, he'd vowed that Jack would never go through them. He'd never even suspected that Jordan would be the one he'd have to worry about.

Jordan. He didn't know what he was going to do when he found Jordan. He had no thoughts of vengeance in his mind, only a frantic hope to rescue Jack. All his energy was focused on bringing his little boy home.

Even though he didn't believe in God, he prayed for his son.

His hands on the steering wheel, knuckles white from his tight grip, Dr. Cox entered the city of Pahrump.

-----

Back at Dr. Cox's apartment J.D. sat by the phone, waiting. Clutched in his hands was the present Dr. Cox had given him shortly after their first ultrasound: a key to his apartment with the baby's ultrasound picture set in a silver heart as a key fob. He gazed at the picture of their child and tried to think of what he could possibly do, but his mind was blank.

He thought about calling Turk, but didn't know what he'd say. JD and Dr. Cox were the only ones who knew about Jack. And even if he were to tell Turk, there wasn't anything he could do about it.

He tried walking around the apartment to help calm his nerves but found himself back at the phone each time. The book he picked up never even got opened. He finally fell asleep, exhausted, while sitting on the couch.

-----

Dr. Cox parked at the end of the street, so as to not alert Jordan to his presence. He quietly approached the house. There were no lights on that he could see. It was a one-story and had no discernible features The only thing he noticed about it was the lack of children's toys in the front yard, not a single ball or Big Wheel.

Trying the front door, he was surprised to find it unlocked.

The inside was tidy enough. He walked through a living room, den, kitchen and laundry room before reaching a hallway. Immediately on the left was the bathroom and on the right was Jordan's room. He cautiously crept into the room but the action was futile as it was empty. Another room next to the bathroom turned out to be a closet. Inside was a blanket and pillow and the walls were covered in crayon drawings. Dr. Cox turned his head away, unable to look, realizing it was the room where Jack had made the call from.

The room at the end of the hallway was Jack's room.

It was small and painted a plain white. Almost entirely bare except for a child's bed and a chest of drawers. No toys were in sight except for a box of crayons set neatly on the floor. Dr. Cox walked over to the empty bed and sat down. He picked up his son's pillow and held it to his chest.

They weren't there and Dr. Cox had no idea what Jordan could be doing out at this time of night, especially with such a young child. Nightmare scenarios flashed through his mind. He walked throught the house again, still holding the pillow tight to his chest, trying to look for some clue as to where they could be. He found it in the form a flier on the kitchen table.


	11. Reunion

_Beta'd the The Seventh L._

Bell Ranch was located a few miles outside of Pahrump. The flier that lay crumpled on the car seat next to him billed it as "The Best Little Whorehouse In The West". Underneath that it advertised its most popular "girl", Kristi. Even in tawdry make-up and nearly non-existent lingerie, Dr. Cox could still recognize Jordan. He parked in front of the seemingly innocuous ranch-style house. Innocuous, of course, except for the giant neon-sign on top proclaiming its name and _business_, next to a rather large neon pair of legs clad in stockings and high heels.

The front parlor was full of velvet. Velvet chaises decorated with velvet throw pillows. Velvet curtains. Even the tassels on the chandelier were decorated with velvet. Dr. Cox fought the urge to gag. A few women lounged around in various states of undress. He didn't recognize Jordan among them as he made his way to the front desk. The clerk informed him that "Kristi" was busy with a client, but she would be ready in a moment, if he'd like to wait for her. According to the man who led him to an empty room, she was quite popular.

The room was just as gaudy as the parlor. Rose chintz wallpaper and polyester shag carpet in an unbecoming shade of salmon pink. The bed took up most of the room; it was covered with small decorative pillows atop red satin sheets. Small lamps sitting on bedside tables cast an eerie pink light throughout the room. A small closet was filled with various outfits and sexual paraphernalia. The only other door beside that and the one he entered led to a mid-sized bathroom, which held a shower/bathtub that was large enough to fit two people.

Dr. Cox dimmed the lights and, sitting on the edge of the bed, waited.

-----

Even with the dimmed lights, when Jordan walked into the room she immediately recognized him. As soon as he realized this, he tensed up, expecting her to make a run for it. She surprised him by calmly closing the door behind her and walking into the room, stopping directly in front of him. Her hair was longer than she normally wore it when she had been with him and she wore more make-up than usual, although it wasn't as bad as the photo in the flier. She wore a lacy black teddy and gartered stockings, with a pair of stiletto heels.

She placed on hand on her hip and looked down at him. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was ice cold. He could see track marks in the crook of her elbow.

He stood up and stared into her eyes, a gaze which she didn't return. "I want my son." His voice was deceptively soft.

"Your son?" she scoffed. She walked past him and sat on the edge of the bed, in the very spot he had occupied only seconds before. She eased off one shoe and began massaging her heel. "Last client wouldn't even let me take them off while we screwing. I hate these things."

"Jordan." His voice was still low, but much firmer this time. She didn't bother to look up at him. "Where's Jack?"

She glanced up at him before returning to her ministrations. "What's it to you?"

He grabbed her by the shoulder and she finally looked at him, her eyes were glazed. "You bitch," he hissed. "I know what you've been doing to him. I know you've been abusing him."

She shrugged his hand away and laughed, a hideously cruel sound.

He slapped her hard, on the cheek. She glared at him, but said nothing.

"You're not fit to be a parent. Do you really want me to get the law involved? What do you think the judge will say when he sees what you've done to Jack? Or when he sees this?" He gestured to the room. "And this?" He grabbed her arm and jabbed at the track marks. "There's no way in Hell you'd get custody and there's a damn good chance you'd be thrown in jail. Is that what you want?" He was yelling at this point.

Jordan's mouth was twisted into a sneer, but there was no emotion in her eyes. "Fine, take him. Just don't expect any child support."

"Where is he?" Dr. Cox was already taking his car keys from his pants pocket.

"I left him in the car." She reached into a small satin bag nestled in her decolletage and pulled out her car keys. "Lock up when you're done."

While he raced out to the car, he never heard her crying.

-----

Dr. Cox quickly unlocked and flung open the passenger's side rear door of Jordan's car. Jack lay stretched out on the back seat, with only a thin blue blanket to keep him warm. He was perfectly still. Dr. Cox froze, his heart pounding in his chest. He'd never be able to live with himself if he'd been too late, and Jordan certainly wouldn't live through it, either. He reached out to touch his son but before he could Jack's eyes slowly opened and he looked straight at him.

"Daddy?" It was nearly a whisper and Dr. Cox could see his breath.

He bundled Jack up in his arms. "Shh . . . It's alright. Everything's alright. I'm here now. I've got you."

-----

The phone rang. J.D. bolted awake. He had still been clutching the key in his sleep, and it slid from his hands as he hurriedly grabbed for the phone.

"Perry?"

"Yeah, it's me."

J.D. almost sobbed with relief. "Did you . . . ?"

"Yes. We're at the hospital" J.D. held his breath. "He had a mild case of hypothermia, but he's fine." J.D. exhaled and a tear trickled out of the corner of his eye. "He'll be released later today." A brief pause. "He's coming home."


	12. Our Family

_Beta'd by The Seventh L_.

Jack had slept the whole drive home and was even now still asleep, wrapped tightly in Dr. Cox's arms as he unlocked the front door to his apartment. All through the trip he had snuck glances at his son snuggled deep into the passenger seat, his tiny fists clasping the blanket Dr. Cox had taken with him from Jordan's. The moonlight dappled his hair, streaking it with silver. Rust colored eyelashes cast shadows on pale cheeks. He had tried, unsuccessfully, not to linger on the fading bruises.

But now they were home. He silently opened the door and slipped inside, carefully shutting it behind him; he didn't want to wake up his son or his pregnant lover. After how he had left, he wasn't sure if he wanted to face JD just yet. He was unsure of the welcome he would receive. Easing off his shoes, he crept over to his son's room. When Jordan had stolen his son she had also taken all of his things with her, except for the toddler bed, which they had been planning on replacing with an actual bed before too long. After having seen Jack's empty bedroom in her house he couldn't understand why, since she didn't seem to have allowed him access to any of it.

After opening the door he stopped halfway through the doorway, awestruck. He couldn't believe his eyes. The room was completely transformed.

The ceiling glowed with dozens of stars, allowing him to see most of the room. A mobile of all the planets was the centerpiece. There was a large net strung across one of the corners filled with all manners of stuffed animals, including quite a few teddy bears. A bright red toy box sat beneath, so filled to the brim with toys that the lid was unable to be fully closed, some of them peeking out. The closet door was ajar and a small light was on inside, allowing him to see the vast quantities of clothing inside, including several pairs of shoes on the floor and a shiny yellow raincoat hung on a hook. The _pièce de résistance_ was, of course, the brand new bed. On top were fluffy pillows, a soft looking blue comforter, and his sleeping lover.

Seeing this, Dr. Cox knew he was forgiven.

------

It had been a busy day for JD. Even though he'd gotten the furniture movers to do most of the heavy lifting, and even cajoled one of them into putting the glow-in-the-dark star stickers up for him, he was still exhausted when it was all over and done with. He laid down on the bed thinking he'd rest his eyes for a bit. He awoke to the sound of soft footsteps entering the room. He looked up. Squinting in the dim light, he could vaguely make out a figure standing over him. "Perry?"

"Yeah, it's me," Dr. Cox whispered.

JD wondered why he had whispered until his eyes adjusted the darkness and he spotted the bundle in his arms.

"How is he?" he whispered back. He scooted over, making room for him and Jack. Even in the near dark JD could see the steely look in his eye and the grim set of his jaw.

"Much better, now." Dr. Cox said, before telling him all about phone call and what had transpired afterwards. Tears were running unfettered down JD's face by the end of it and even Dr. Cox had cried a bit. "I wanted to tell you, but . . ." He trailed off. "No, there's no excuse, I should have ---"

JD cut him off with a kiss. "I understand."

He looked at the older man and then down at the sleeping boy, who hadn't stirred once during the whole story. JD wrapped one arm around Dr. Cox and placed his free hand on his belly.

"Our family," he whispered.


	13. Finally

_Beta'd by The Seventh L_

Jack quickly adjusted to his new life and soon stopped asking after Jordan. Dr. Cox explained to him that it wasn't his fault that she had done those things to him, that she was sick and that she still loved him very much, but wouldn't be able to see him until she got better. Jack loved his new bedroom and deleted loved his new family. He was very excited about JD's pregnancy and liked to talk to the baby bump; he was entirely sure he was going to have a new baby sister when the time came. And when JD had come home and told him he was right all he did was grin. He was also very excited about kindergarten, which Dr. Cox had enrolled him in, and was starting very soon.

JD's baby bump continued to grow larger and larger, and by his eighth month he felt like he was smuggling a beach ball under his shirt. He was officially living with Dr. Cox and had been for a while. Turk had helped him move in and it had been an emotional experience for the both of them -- their first time living apart since college. They still spent plenty of time together and saw each other at work except for the past two weeks since JD had gone on maternity leave. He was unable to run to a coding patient's room anymore and bending over had become a rather laborious affair. With his swollen ankles he found it hard to stand for long periods of time anymore.

And that wasn't all that was new . . .

-----

It had been two months since Jack's homecoming. He was adjusting nicely and they had found a very nice babysitter to watch him when neither of them could be at home due to hectic work schedules. Thus, Dr. Cox suggested that they should have a nice dinner at a nice restaurant, just the two of them. JD was happily surprised by the invitation and readily agreed to it.

They ended up with reservations at the Café Bizou, a reasonably inexpensive yet delicious French restaurant. Both were dressed in long sleeve button-up shirts with slacks, with JD having to search a bit to find an outfit that would fit over his ever burgeoning bump. Sitting across from each other at the table each looked nervous, probably realizing that this was, in fact, their first "actual" date. Dr. Cox ordered a glass of 2006 Morgon Vieilles Vignes for himself and a appletini "mocktail" for JD. They glanced at each other over their drinks, unsure of what to say.

They ordered lobster and salmon ravioli for their appetizer and for main course Dr. Cox ordered the steak au poivre while JD had the roasted chicken with pommes frites. For dessert they ordered the creme brulee. When they had finished eating JD patted his full tummy. He smiled at Dr. Cox, who still looked a bit nervous. It had been a nice evening out, if a bit quiet.

And then, dropping to one knee, Dr. Cox pulled a small velvet box from his pants pocket. "I love you and I love our baby. I've seen how much you care for Jack. I want to spend the rest of our lives together raising our family. Will you marry me?"

JD's enthusiastic "Yes!" was followed by a long drawn-out kiss and the entire restaurant erupting into clapping.

-----

No date had been set for the wedding, but they both agreed it should be well after he had given birth. Turk, Carla and Elliot had been ecstatic when he JD told them. And, of course, JD had asked Turk to be his best man. Since there wasn't going to be a bride (thus negating the need for a bridesmaid) and Dr. Cox didn't have anyone in mind, he agreed that JD's brother Dan could be the second best man.

JD's musings were interrupted by a strong kick from his mid-section. He smiled down and rubbed where the baby had kicked. He couldn't wait to give birth, to finally be able to hold his daughter. To have Perry's baby.


	14. Ready

_Beta'd by The Seventh L_

JD snuggled further into his down comforter and reached across the bed to caress his fiancé, but his searching hand only found an empty pillow, the indent left from it's occupant's head still warm. He momentarily panicked before the sounds of breakfast being set out drifted in from the kitchen, along with his step-son singing along to the theme song of a Sunday morning cartoon. A large grin spread over his face and he gave a large stretch before beginning the laborious process of getting out of bed.

Having managed to raise his now rather considerable bulk out of bed and onto his feet, he waddled over to the closet to get dressed. Looking at his wardrobe, he once again wished there more flattering clothing available for pregnant men. Picking out a voluminous t-shirt and sweatpants whose elastic were beginning to complain this far into his pregnancy, he got dressed as quickly as he could.

Walking into the kitchen, he was greeted by the sight of a rather large breakfast spread across the dining room table. Heaping stacks of pancakes drizzled with syrup, sausage, strips of perfectly fried bacon, scrambled eggs, a basket of toast, fruit salad and a pitcher of what appeared to be fresh squeeze orange juice. He was dazzled by it. JD questioningly cocked an eyebrow at Dr. Cox, who gave him a sheepish grin in return.

"Carla?" JD asked.

"Yeah." Dr. Cox walked over to JD and wrapped an arm around his sizable waist. Their kiss was interrupted by a mumbled oath from JD and a rapidly spreading puddle across the linoleum.

Jack looked up from where he was sprawled in front of the TV and at his parents. "Is my sister on the way?" he asked excitedly, his eyes sparkling.

JD held Dr. Cox's hand, which rested upon his belly. "I think so, kiddo," he said, smiling up at the father of his child.

"Hooray!" Jack leapt up and ran over to the two of them and Dr. Cox picked up, tossing him into the air and easily catching him before all three of them hugged.

Still holding Jack, Dr. Cox asked JD if he was ready to go to the hospital, but JD's rumbling tummy answered before he had a chance to. JD laughed and looked at the huge feast waiting for them. "I think we'd better eat first."

Breakfast was a joyous occasion, filled with laughter and smiles, mostly in response to Jack's happy chattering about his new baby sister and how much he looked forward to playing with her. Once they were all full and the leftovers were put up, phone calls were placed to Elliot, Turk and Carla about the rapidly impending birth and they all agreed to meet at the hospital. Dr. Williams was informed, as well, since he was going to deliver the baby.

JD quickly changed his soaked sweat pants and Dr. Cox grabbed the the suitcase they had previously prepared for this occasion.

"You ready?" Dr. Cox asked.

JD nodded, trying to calm down. He nervously bit at his lower lip. Dr. Cox enveloped JD's smaller hands in his larger ones. "Everything will go fine. You'll do great."

After a rather long kiss, and a small pause to catch his breath, JD smiled at the other man. "I love you."

"I love you, too."


	15. Having His Baby

JD waddled around his hospital room, one hand cupping his stomach, the other keeping the back of his gown closed. Dr. Cox kept one arm wrapped around his partner's waist and helped him with his Lamaze breathing. When a particularly strong contraction gripped JD he grabbed Dr. Cox's bicep and managed to hiss out "You're having the next one," between deep breaths. Dr. Cox gulped, not looking pleased at that prospect.

The contractions began to happen closer and closer together and soon JD was lying down in the hospital bed with Dr. Cox feeding him ice chips and holding his hand. JD occasionally mewled in pain; Dr. Cox would run a moist washcloth over his sweat damp brow.

Dr. Williams strolled in and smiled at the expecting couple. "Just coming by again to see how things are progressing. How's it going in here?"

JD muffled an expletive and Dr. Cox stroked his arm. "He's pretty far along."

Dr. Williams smiled. "Okay, just let me check." He walked over to the bed and helped JD prop his legs up and spread them open. Lifting up the pregnant man's hospital gown he nodded before lowering it again. "Looks like you're right, he's ready to be wheeled into the delivery room. Are you going to be joining us?"

JD squeezed Dr. Cox's hand and gave him a meaningful gaze. Dr. Cox nodded. "Of course I am."

"Great! We can wheel him over now and then have you get scrubbed up and in a gown in no time."

Pretty soon they were all in the delivery room, both Dr. Williams and Dr. Cox in surgical gowns and masks. Dr. Cox stood by JD's head, holding onto one of his hands, while Dr. Williams checked on his progress at the other end of the bed, flanked by two nurses.

"Okay, it looks like we're good to go. Now when I say so, start pushing. Are you ready?"

JD nodded, dripping with sweat and gritting his teeth, getting a good grip on his partner's hand.

"Push!"

-----

"It's a girl!"

Everyone in the waiting room cheered as Dr. Cox made his announcement. Turk, Carla, and Elliot had all been keeping an eye on Jack and patiently waiting for news, along with a bevy of nurses and doctors (when they were free).

"And how's the proud... er... mother?" Turk asked. Carla shot him a look, but quickly turned back to Dr. Cox, expectantly.

"JD's doing great." Dr. Cox was ecstatic, with a grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear. He picked up his son and swung him through the air. "You hear that Jackie? You've got a baby sister." Jack giggled as he was swung around the room.

"Have you decided on a name?" Elliot asked.

"Alice."

-----

JD drifted in and out of sleep. When he finally woke up, Dr. Cox stood at the side of his bed, cradling their daughter in his arms. His look was full of such utter love that it made JD tear up.

"How is she?" JD whispered.

"She's perfect," Dr. Cox whispered back. "Do you feel up to holding her?"

JD nodded and he carefully placed the sleeping newborn into his partner's arms. JD looked down at the tiny face in awe. "She's beautiful."

Dr. Cox carefully ran a hand over her pink stocking capped head. "Our daughter." She sleepily opened one eye before falling back to sleep. He leaned over the side of the bed, being carefully not to squish Alice, and kissed JD, slowly and tenderly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

-----

_I want to thank everyone who stuck with this story to the end and I want to especially thank everyone who gave me such wonderful reviews. And special thanks to my wonderful beta, The Seventh L._

_If there is any interest in a sequel I would be glad to hear from you guys. Hopefully it would go a lot faster than this did._

_Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you enjoyed the story._


End file.
